


Help Me Help Him

by madamelibrarian, Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Series: Loving Heart [20]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftercare, Dom/sub Undertones, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 12:43:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7758286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamelibrarian/pseuds/madamelibrarian, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Lucifer made discoveries during Gabriel's absence. Now it's time to show him what he missed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Help Me Help Him

**Author's Note:**

> Find us on tumblr at lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell (Mrs_SimonTam_PHD) or mindyleeb (mindylee)

Lucifer didn’t get hit with any overwhelming feelings until about three months after Gabriel’s return. He had asked for restraint- twice- and said that he was feeling was confused, or complicated, but never overwhelming. 

When he did, it was while they were in the nest, cuddling after an amazing round of making Gabriel scream with pleasure. He recognized it from the trembling in his hands and the mild sinus headache he was experiencing and the soreness in his throat. 

Peering over Gabriel’s shoulder, he slowly brought his hand up into his  _ overwhelmed  _ signal, leaving it there until Sam or Gabriel noticed. He really hoped tears weren’t streaming down his face. 

Gabriel sat up and cupped his cheek, instinctively wanting to help his mate. “What’s that one mean, Heylel?” he asked softly. 

Sam saw what was going on and with a sympathetic look, he gently took Lucifer’s hand. “Heylel? You’re feeling overwhelmed?” he asked gently, looking for confirmation. 

Lucifer nodded with a distressed whimper, leaning into Gabriel’s hand. 

“Okay. I’ll grab a few things, but I’ll be right back.” Sam soothed. “I want to show Gabriel where we keep the things that help you, so I’ll leave you one of your teddy bears.” 

Lucifer hiccupped and his lower lip wobbled. 

“I know, sweetheart, you don’t like being alon.,” Sam soothed. “Dean-bear?” 

Lucifer nodded with a whine. 

Sam slid out of the nest and grabbed Dean’s old teddy bear and the “baby” blanket for Lucifer. He walked back over and got the older angel into the center of the nest and tucked him in under the blanket while Lucifer grabbed and held on tightly to the Dean-bear. 

“I’ll be right back, I promise angel.” Sam cooed tenderly, brushing his lips against Lucifer’s temple. “You work on your breathing.” He beckoned Gabriel to follow him. 

Gabriel kissed Lucifer’s cheek with whispered assurances that he’d be back. Quickly crawling from the nest he hurried to catch up with Sam. “He was fine a few minutes ago.” He whispered to the hunter once they were out of earshot of the nest. 

“I’ve noticed that sometimes the drops come out of nowhere.” Sam confessed as he led them to the closet in the hallway marked “Lucifer’s”. He fished out his key and set to work unlocking it. “Sometimes it’s a bunch of good emotions that overwhelm him.” The door unlocked, he swung it open to reveal the organization put into making the closet quick and accessible for whenever they needed the tools inside. “I’ve been making one for you, to.” He confessed with a blush.

Gabriel let out a low whistle when he saw the labeled baskets and boxes. “Damn Samshine, you don’t do anything by halves do you?” he looked up at the hunter and smiled “I have a drop closet too?”

Sam nodded. “Lucifer’s been helping a lot. He’s done the organization part of it, too. It helped him keep busy.” Biting his lower lip, he reached up and grabbed the box labeled ‘massage oil’. “Lavender makes him feel antagonistic during this time, and chamomile makes him sneeze. So we use peppermint when he’s overwhelmed.” The hunter explained as he opened it and fished it out.

“That would explain the bath from hell.” Gabriel said quietly as he looked over the contents of the massage box. “That was a lavender bath bomb we used on him.”

Sam nodded. “Thought it helps him sleep when he’s calm and can’t.” he said. He put the box up and grabbed an old style sound machine with headphones. “I found this at Bed Bath and Beyond a few years ago- picked it up so I wouldn’t hear Dean having sex in the next bed over back in the day. Set it to a rainstorm and he’s good. Oceans help him fall asleep. Never put it on the one labeled ‘heartbeat’ though. He will freak.” 

“Why? He loves to lay his head on our chests.” Gabriel asked as he took the chosen items from Sam’s hands. 

“Because it’s too loud, and it’s not from an outside perspective. It’s more for babies, to soothe them, since they can hear Mommy’s heartbeat while in the womb. It sounds familiar to them, for him its foreign. He says it’s very akin to being inside of a large drum that is rhythmically being hit.” Sam remarked. He found the box that held a variety of sleep masks and blindfolds. “Sometimes, if he hits a sensory overload along with the overwhelming feelings, he can’t take in  _ any  _ amount of light.” He chose a navy blue sleep mask and handed it to Gabriel. 

“You should have a basket stashed in here for toting stuff back to the room.” Gabriel observed as he took the mask and put it around his forehead to keep his hand free. 

“There’s only one more thing.” Sam said, frowning. “Well, two more things, but we don’t need the second one just yet.” He pulled out a box labeled “STAY OUT DEAN," on it and removed what looked like a teething ring. “He grinds his teeth during this time, so I got a mouthguard for him to chew on. It also helps him realize he can’t speak in this mode, and he won’t try.” 

“And talking is a bad thin..” Gabriel said flatly as he shook his head. “What’s the second thing he doesn’t need?”

“The gel face mask that came with the Lush gift basket. I keep it in the freezer so it’s always ready to use when he needs it.” Sam explained. “And I’m not saying talking is a bad thing. At this moment in time, Lucifer can’t speak. He cannot use words to describe what he is feeling. And if he tries to speak before he is ready, he works himself into a frenzy and it’s almost impossible to calm him down. He needs time to be held, to realize he’s loved and to sort through what his feelings are, and to cry, before he tries.” 

“And you learned all of this while I was gone.” Gabriel said in amazement. “No wonder Father called me home. I don’t know if I’d have been any help to you during the discovery phase.”

“Lucifer and I had a lot of help. The hand signals and learning what they meant was the easy part.” Sam confessed. “It was Castiel’s idea to try the mouth guard to stop the grinding. Dean does the same thing when he drops. And the frenzy I told you about that he gets into if he talks too soon? Dean was the one who calmed him down then, glaring at me the whole time. Lucifer had mentioned the contact thing. The first two months after you left were... difficult. Lucifer dropped almost constantly.” 

“I didn’t want to go, Sam. Not really.” Gabriel looked down at the items in his hand. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.”

“You two had severely hurt each other.” Sam reminded him kindly. “You weren’t ready to forgive Lucifer then, and you know how the two of you can’t lie to each other. He didn’t want you to go to Heaven- in fact, he told me he volunteered to take an extended vacation to Hell and keep you on Earth. Lucifer needed that time away from you to deal with his guilt in a healthy manner. Thank God he actually took Lucifer’s archangel blade upon request.” 

“Dad told me a bit about his conversation with Luci but not the nitty gritty of it.” Gabriel looked back towards the nest’s door. “Truth be told I resented Lucifer in the beginning. In my mind he threw a tantrum and got what he wanted. You and Earth. I didn’t keep the delusion long though.” He turned back to Sam with a wry smile. “If you ever meet my Father make sure you don’t give him a reason to yell at you for being a dumbass.”

Sam chuckled. “Lucifer felt guilty about you being the one to return to Heaven when it was “his” mess to clean up. Still does, if I’m honest. He also hasn’t forgiven himself for what he did. First month you were gone I pretty much had to keep him cuffed otherwise he’d have tried to hurt himself. He thought he was driving you away.”

Gabriel sighed as he rolled his eyes. “He didn’t drive me away. I was plucked like a flower and transplanted upstairs. The only time I got to leave was to announce an immaculate conception... again.”

Sam grinned. “Fun. And we both know that it wasn’t your choice, but I don’t think he did. He hurt you, you were upset at him, and suddenly you were gone. That didn’t sit well with him. By the third month…” Sam sighed. “Well, he was better. But...” 

“He still missed me and hated himself. You ever get kind of weirded out by how much like Deano he is?” Gabriel snorted.

“A little, but then I remember that you have Dean’s lewd humor and the same taste in Dr. Sexy and that sort of thing.” Sam said. “By the time you came home, the hate had lessened but... It still crops up. It was around the third month he prayed to you. I encouraged it because I knew he needed that outlet, to feel like he was still connected to you.” 

“And what about you, Sam? Did you hate me for leaving you too?” Gabriel asked softly as he searched out Sam’s eyes with his own. 

Sam shook his head in denial “At first, I resented it. I thought you were bailing on us and leaving me with an essentially suicidal Lucifer. Then I thought about what this was intended to accomplish, and that there was something I needed to learn. You knew a lot of what makes Lucifer calm and what doesn’t before I did. I needed to learn what these were on my own so we didn’t have a repeat of what happened. I couldn’t have you hold my hand for this. Also, if you had stayed, Lucifer would’ve never stopped apologizing and you would’ve shoved him away after a bit, telling him to shut up or something worse, and then we’d have even a bigger mess.” He ran his fingers through his hair. 

“You can stop being creepily insightful now.” Gabriel said as he shifted from foot to foot, uncomfortable with being scrutinized and dissected like this. Even by Sam. 

“I also needed to learn how to appreciate you.” Sam whispered, stepping more into Gabriel’s space. “It’s never that I preferred Lucifer over you. Never. I love you both in equal amounts. But I took advantage of the fact that you played mediator between us, and that nearly broke this bond apart. I knew Lucifer appreciated you- hell, I could feel the way you two acted around each other while I was on a hunt after the bond was made. Lucifer made you feel loved. I didn’t. And I apologize for that. I hope I’ve made amends in that department.” 

“You have. Even if you poke fun at my beard.” Gabriel said with a hint of a smile. “And as much as I’d love to prove how much you really like it, Luci’ is probably an inch away from meltdown.”

“You’re right. Let’s head back to him.” Sam agreed, leaning in to kiss Gabriel quickly and chastely. “Love you.” He hurried back to the nest.

Gabriel takes a second longer to touch his lip where Sam’s had pressed. “Love you too, Samuel.” he whispered to the hallway before turning and running after his mate. 

Sam opened the door and gently slid inside. “Hey honey.” he whispered, coming over with the mouthguard. “Can my sweet angel open his mouth? Don’t want to ruin your pretty teeth. Gabe’s coming with the rest of the stuff and then we’ll all cuddle. Okay?” He held the mouthguard to Lucifer

The angel whimpered and opened his mouth just enough for the hunter to slide the device into his mouth. 

“There we go, Heylel, good job.” Sam praised. Seeing Gabriel, he grabbed the sleep mask off of his head with a soft kiss to the younger angel’s forehead. “Are we okay on senses?” he asked. 

Lucifer nodded with a whine, making a grabbing motion with his hands for his mates. 

“Let’s get you set up, okay?” Sam removed the massage oil from Gabriel’s hand, letting his fingers linger. “Now, here’s the oil. I’m going to dab some on your pulse.” 

Lucifer nodded and tilted his head back. 

“Along his pulse is optimal for dabbing this. He won’t allow for a full massage until after he’s cried it out.” Sam explained as he dabbed the massage oil along his pulse points. “He can answer yes and no questions, and you have to tell him what you’re doing as you’re doing it. In this state, surprises freak him out.” He gently took one of Lucifer’s hands and turned it, so he could dab the oil there before doing the other one.

Gabriel nodded as watched every move Sam made. Trying to commit to memory everything he was being shown but unsure what he could do at the moment to help. 

Sam noticed and smiled. “Hey, angelcake?” Lucifer made a face at the nickname, one Sam softly chuckled at. “Mind if Gabriel comes and snuggles you while I get your sound machine going?” 

Lucifer nodded his acceptance, lighting up slightly at the thought of being held by his brother. 

Gabriel finally remembered the sound machine in his hand and nearly cheered in triumph when he realized he could do something. Passing the machine over to Sam, he laid down beside Lucifer and whispered to him.  “Hey, Luci. Do you want some rainstorm noises?” 

Lucifer gave one of his shy smiles and nodded. 

Sam moved to the edge of their nest in search of the outlet behind the nightstand. Once the machine was plugged in he looked at the setting of the dial. “They have thunderstorm too.” He turned back to the angels. “Want a little thunder?”

Lucifer nodded. “Uh huh.” he mumbled. 

Sam shushed the angel gently. “Don’t try to talk right now, sweetheart.” 

“Yeah, nods and shakes of your head are good for now.” Gabriel gave him a soft smile as Sam switched the machine to thunderstorm, then crawled back to the pair. “What’s next Sammich? Is it cuddle time?”

Lucifer visibly relaxed as Sam nodded. “Yeah, it’s cuddle time.” the hunter confirmed, wrapping his large frame around the archangel’s smaller one. “There we go, all three of us cuddling.” he hummed, tucking an errant curl of Lucifer’s hair back behind his ear. 

Lucifer cooed and grabbed his brother, tugging Gabriel closer and hugging him tightly. 

Gabriel let out a squawk of surprise and quickly chuckled. “Right here then.” He opened his wings and draped them around Sam and Lucifer. 

Lucifer gave a pleased hum and snuggled into his brother. 

Sam chuckled and stroked his hair as Lucifer calmed, making eye contact with Gabriel as he did so. “He’ll settle down a little before he cries. He cries too soon, it causes distress. He cries too late, you’ll get nothing done.”

“So we just chill. What about if I tell you about the miracle I had to announce?” Gabriel asked as he pressed his lips to Lucifer’s forehead. 

“I’d like that.” Sam murmured, still stroking the anxious angel’s hair. 

Gabriel took a deep breath. “Well... Dad sent me to Earth, just once. He told me I had to go announce an immaculate conception to this couple in Canada. So I spent more time than was probably needed polishing my armour and prepping what I would say exactly.”

“Naturally, you had to primp.” Sam grinned. 

Lucifer made a sleepy little noise and cuddled more into his mates.

“Hey, last time I did something like that I was wearing a dress... all right, robes.. but still I was freeballing it.” Gabriel reached over Lucifer and gave Sam’s hair a playful tug. “Okay, back to my awesome entrance. So there I am, shining like the sun, going where I’m told the happy couple would be waiting when I land in a barn. I think to myself ‘here we go again’. I look around and there’s a farmer alone with a cow.”

Sam snickered. “Oh shit.” 

Lucifer whined softly and batted at Gabriel’s face lightly. 

“It’s not what you think. But to skip the more distressing parts and to make this story very short... Dad sent me to announce a calf... a white calf with a black mark in the shape of a lightning bolt on its flank.” Gabriel sighed and shook his head. “I had to announce with the pomp and circumstance of the second coming, a cow with a My Little Pony cutie mark on its ass.”

Sam cracked up laughing. “Is it the Chosen Calf? The Calf Who Lived?” he giggled. 

Lucifer also giggled, but it was quieter, much more subdued.

“Maybe. No one said Dad didn’t have a sense of humor. But a cutie mark?!” Gabriel asked in exasperation. “I swear after all the raucous he made over Moses and the golden calf- if people worship this one I’m going to flip.”

Sam giggled as he snuggled closer to his angels. 

Lucifer whined and batted at Gabriel’s face again, as though asking him to stop. 

“What, cupcake?” Gabriel asked as he dodged away from his brother’s hand. “Want me to shut my trap?”

Lucifer nodded and burrowed his face into Gabriel’s collarbone. 

“Okay. I’ll stop talking about the cow.” Gabriel murmured to him and ran his fingers through Lucifer’s hair. 

Lucifer gave a happy coo and cuddled. 

“He doesn’t like a lot of noise at this point.” Sam whispered.  

“I think I can be quiet.” Gabriel whispered back. 

Sam nodded. He took Gabriel’s free hand and kissed it lightly, nothing but love and adoration showing on his face. 

Lucifer laid in between them, and they stayed that way for about an hour before the eldest angel whimpered, fighting the tears he knew were coming.

Gabriel tightened his hold on his brother and kissed the side of his head as he whispered to him. “We’re here, Heylel. Love you so much.” 

Sam nodded and kissed Lucifer’s hair. “Shh, sweetie, we’re right here. Let it out.” He rubbed his back soothingly. 

Lucifer whimpered and shook his head in protest. 

“It’s okay, Luci’. We’ve got you.” Gabriel cupped his cheek. “We’re right here.”

“We’re not going to leave,” Sam added, still rubbing his back. “C’mon, Morning Star. Let it out.” 

Lucifer choked back a sob and coughed, a few tears trickling out. 

**“My beautiful Morningstar. Let us share your pain. We can handle it.”** The younger angel murmured in Enochian. 

Lucifer whimpered, then hid his face against Gabriel’s shoulder, hugging him close and weeping. 

Sam moved in closer and murmured soothing words to his mate, telling him how beautiful he was, how loved he was and how he was so proud of him. 

Gabriel held him tight and slowly stroked his wing against him, placing small loving kisses to Lucifer’s cheeks and forehead. 

Sam kept up the soothing words as Lucifer wailed into Gabriel’s shoulder, coughing and sputtering. 

Gabriel looked over Lucifer’s head at Sam. “Can I try something?”

Sam nodded. “Angel, Gabe’s gonna try something, okay? Keep calm, sweetie, you’re doing so good.”

Lucifer whimpered. 

“I’m gonna pick you up and put you in my lap. Just like you would do for me and Cassie.” Gabriel explained as he sat up, bringing Lucifer with him. 

Sam smiled in understanding. 

Lucifer whined and squirmed, but allowed Gabriel to pull him into his lap, and he buried his face into the crook of Gabriel’s neck. 

As soon as his brother was situated, he wrapped his wings tightly around him and rocked while humming low. The tune was old.. older than creation and one that hadn’t been sung in Heaven since the creation of Man. 

Lucifer hiccupped in surprise at the sound of the old tune and he gave a questioning whine, but it soothed him to the very core. 

Sam smiled as he heard the humming and he stroked Lucifer’s hair tenderly. 

Gabriel smiled slightly but didn’t stop what he was doing. When he finished the song, he started it all over again, this time with the words singing the praises of their Father and creation. 

Lucifer’s crying slowed and his breathing evened out as he listened to the song, hiccuping. 

Sam listened and stroked Lucifer’s hair, watching the two brothers fondly. 

Finishing the second round, Gabriel kissed his brother’s shoulder. “Feeling better?” he asked softly. 

Lucifer hiccupped and nodded sleepily. He made his finger spin lazily. 

“I think he wants it again.” Sam chuckled. 

“Second verse same as the first.” Gabriel said then cleared his throat before starting up the song once more. 

Lucifer eventually calmed down and was rubbing his forehead anxiously and whining. 

Sam soothed the fussy archangel. “Do you want gellie?” he asked softly. 

Lucifer nodded. 

“He wants his gel face mask,” Sam hummed to Gabriel. 

“Want me to get it?” Gabriel asked, interrupting his singing. 

“If you could snap it here, that’d be great.” Sam said. “Please.” 

Lifting his hand, Gabriel snapped, and the mask dropped to the mattress out of thin air. 

Sam smiled and kissed the side of Gabriel’s head. “Thank you. Could you please get Lucifer lying down again? We don’t need the mask sliding all over the place.”

Nodding, he shifted his hold on Lucifer. “Time to lay back, Luci’. Sam’s got your mask for you so that pesky headache will go away.”

Lucifer whined but allowed himself to be maneuvered back into a laying down position on his back.

Sam picked up the gel mask and gently rested it on Lucifer’s face. 

Lucifer jumped the feeling of the cold and he batted at it. 

“Shh, you know this helps.” Sam whispered, trying to soothe the agitated angel. 

Gabriel laid down beside Lucifer and slowly rubbed a hand over his chest. “It won’t be so harsh in a minute. Lay back and think about the ocean when we were young. The nice big waves rolling against the shore. The steady crash of the tide as the sun rose over the horizon.”

Lucifer fussed until the chill of the ice pack lost some of it’s sharpness and then he relaxed, sinking himself into the imagery the younger angel was painting. 

Sam leaned over and changed the sounds from the thunderstorms to the oceans as when he recognized the signals that Lucifer was close to falling asleep. “That’s it, beautiful.” 

“We’ll be here right beside you and the first thing you see when you open those pretty blue eyes in the morning.” Gabriel whispered to him. 

Lucifer’s eyes closed and within a few minutes he had drifted off to sleep, holding onto his mates as if they were the anchor keeping him in place. 

Sam kissed his temple and looked over at Gabriel with a smile. “Thank you.” he whispered. 

“You’re welcome, Sam.” Gabriel replied as he reached around Lucifer’s waist to take Sam’s hand. “I’m glad I could help.”

Sam nodded and squeezed Gabriel’s hand. “I’ve only done the singing thing once. Luc punched me. That was a good thing for you to do.” 

Shrugging, Gabriel propped himself up on his forearm so he could see Sam better. “It always worked with me. I’m surprised I remembered that song.”

Sam smiled. “Did Lucifer used to sing that to you?” he asked quietly. 

“Him and Michael.” Gabriel replied with a wistful look in his eyes. “We all sang it back then. I guess you’d call it a hymn but for us it was like... an affirmation.”

“I think it helped. It reinforced the idea that he’s forgiven.” Sam said as he ran his fingers through a sleeping Lucifer’s hair.

Gabriel sighed as he looked down at his brother’s peaceful, sleep relaxed face. “I hope someday he won’t need this kind of intensive care.”

Sam nodded. “Until he can forgive and understand  _ how  _ to love himself, he will be like this. Dean’s the same way. Cas has already had  _ several  _ conversations about this with him.”

“Good thing he has us then.” Gabriel laid back down and wrapped his wing around Sam’s back, pulling him closer to them. “Good thing I have you.”

Sam smiled and settled into the mattress. “I am glad to have you both.” 


End file.
